My Life in a Nutshell

I will not sit here and try to convince you that I am not a typical white girl from a conventional, white, middle class family. If I attempted to I would just being lying. However, I will not say that we were a perfect family with no problems or struggles. We were a pretty messed up family, if that is even the correct term for what we were. My parents grew up in loving but neglectful homes. They were given everything they could’ve wanted in life, but we’re never given a chance to be loved and appreciated fully. I truly believe this was the basis of their choices. They were both involved in drugs and alcohol. Inhibitions were lost and without clear thought, my mom soon realized she was pregnant with me at seventeen. It’s a ridiculous notion to think that at my age my mom had to give birth to a daughter. Her “culture”, her peers, all pressured her into abortion or giving me up. It was all too common for a crazy teenager to have a kid, especially for those who really couldn’t support one. I sympathize with my mother for considering the options. After all, I’m not too sure I would be able to support a child at this age either. She was and still is an incredible woman for keeping me and not only that but she completely changed herself to take care of me. Her culture was in a realm of addiction, meaningless relationships and hard rock. Having to leave it all would be the equivalent of a man leaving his Islamic family to be an atheist or a Christian. It was a difficult transition for her to do but somehow she persisted. My family has always had a cataclysmic role in my life. They have stuck around with me the longest and know me more extensively than I even know my own self. Although my parents do not hold the cleanest slate, they have taught me the importance of guarding myself and my morals. I truly believe that you learn from your mistakes and that by having to go through hardships, it better enables you to give someone else a better chance at their own life. For me, my parents have used their own previous indiscretions to show me the consequences of a lack of judgment in my life. Unfortunately, I have also come to terms that no one can truly learn such a lesson as such without going through a few mistakes of their own.

Her “culture”, her peers, all pressured her into abortion or giving me up. It was all too common for a crazy teenager to have a kid, especially for those who really couldn’t support one. I sympathize with my mother for considering the options. After all, I’m not too sure I would be able to support a child at this age either. She was and still is an incredible woman for keeping me and not only that but she completely changed herself to take care of me. Her culture was in a realm of addiction, meaningless relationships and hard rock. Having to leave it all would be the equivalent of a man leaving his Islamic family to be an atheist or a Christian. It was a difficult transition for her to do but somehow she persisted. My family has always had a cataclysmic role in my life. They have stuck around with me the longest and know me more extensively than I even know my own self. Although my parents do not hold the cleanest slate, they have taught me the importance of guarding myself and my morals. I truly believe that you learn from your mistakes and that by having to go through hardships, it better enables you to give someone else a better chance at their own life. For me, my parents have used their own previous indiscretions to show me the consequences of a lack of judgment in my life. Unfortunately, I have also come to terms that no one can truly learn such a lesson as such without going through a few mistakes of their own.

Throughout these last two and a half years of high school, I have realized that everyone is subject to change. People leave your life, new people enter in replacement of those who left, and some have been and always will be around. I have all too many recently leave my life. The tighter I hold on to people, the easier they seem to fall through my fingers. I have lost family members to accident and disease, friends to other people and pride has pushed many of my closest confidants to their own devices. However difficult it was to lose someone, each person helped to form my view of both the world and myself. I remember distinctly how much my Grandee loved me. She was my dad’s stepmom, and she lived in a bed and breakfast, that she ran, in Dallas, Texas. We called her Grandee because her first name was Sandee and she always was going about how she was “too young to be a grandma or nana”. No matter who you were or where you came from, Grandee was always inviting you into the house for sweet tea and apricot scones. In her hand was always a glass of deep, red wine and she was always dressed in a black dress with silver jewelry and cheetah print flip flops. If ever was a hospitable and overwhelmingly kind woman in the world, it was my Grandee. The way she would just sit and listen to people was unspeakable. I could talk her ear off for hours and she would just ask to hear more. My passion for people stems directly from her model of generosity. Through both the struggles of my parents’ addiction and my Grandee’s hospitality and amiability, I believe my calling in life is to be a drug and alcohol rehabilitation counselor. I have a rare experience of being around the effects of drugs and seeing the destruction it can cause without being the recipient of such effects. I believe this makes the most able in such a field because I am less likely to worry about falling into old habits. This goal I have set for myself in the near future encourages me to stay out of trouble and keep my eyes on the prize. In my personal life, I have categorized into three groups that I feel I best belong to based on my daily thoughts, feelings and lifestyle: skeptical Christian, hipster and extroverted introvert. This may seem like an interesting combination but trust me it somehow all seems to fit together. Becoming a Christian has been a decision I made without feeling forced by family or friends. I am very reason based when it comes to make decisions. So when it came down to “religion” I felt it had to be taken similarly. I read up on the history of Christianity and the Bible, read books both for and opposing the faith and took a Philosophy class where I really learned more about the way I thought and perceived things. I came to the conclusion that I believed Christianity to be true but I, to this day, am always looking and searching for the truth in everything. World religion is a big interest that I hold. I enjoy learning the customs of each different religion and how it compares to others. I try to remain as

This goal I have set for myself in the near future encourages me to stay out of trouble and keep my eyes on the prize. In my personal life, I have categorized into three groups that I feel I best belong to based on my daily thoughts, feelings and lifestyle: skeptical Christian, hipster and extroverted introvert. This may seem like an interesting combination but trust me it somehow all seems to fit together. Becoming a Christian has been a decision I made without feeling forced by family or friends. I am very reason based when it comes to make decisions. So when it came down to “religion” I felt it had to be taken similarly. I read up on the history of Christianity and the Bible, read books both for and opposing the faith and took a Philosophy class where I really learned more about the way I thought and perceived things. I came to the conclusion that I believed Christianity to be true but I, to this day, am always looking and searching for the truth in everything. World religion is a big interest that I hold. I enjoy learning the customs of each different religion and how it compares to others. I try to remain as open minded as possible which is why I categorize myself as a skeptical Christian. I am a practicing Christian, I attend church and love sharing about my passion for it but I question everything as much as a non-Christian might. I believe that if you don’t question or struggle with ideas in any religion, you are remaining stagnate in your faith and aren’t growing. So although it seems rather peculiar, I truly am very skeptical in my own nature and personality, but it doesn’t hinder my faith and practice. Being a hipster is just a cool term for someone who tries to be an original individual, but is really just like seventy five percent of their peers. I have been categorized this several times and in some ways I fit perfectly. I am a huge Indie fan and love listening to brand new artists. I also am fond of 70’s, 80’s and 90’s music. I collect vinyl records and have a beautiful, vintage, wood, Pyle phonograph. I, however, do not play any instruments other than Chopsticks on the piano. I am a mediocre singer, can snap on only one hand and cannot whistle to save my life. Although I enjoy “hipster” music, I also am a fan of older country, hard metal and some rap. Pop music is the devil as far as I am concerned. The only “pop” music I enjoy is Spice Girls, but to be completely honest, who doesn’t love Wannabe? Photography is also an interest of mine. I’ve dabbled in painting, drawing and sculptures, but photography was a whole different side of art I actually enjoyed doing. I modeled for a photographer friend of mine and really enjoyed that. Unlike most, I do not wear high-waisted shorts and combat boots with every outfit. Some people can pull off the vintage look but I have yet to find a flattering piece that truly worked for me. So in general, I would assume “hipster” as a term of endearment if so bestowed upon me. Extroverted introvert seems like a completely oxymoron, but in reality, there are many people who would fall under such a category. In my case, I think I am a normal, socially active person. I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone and I have had many people tell me I am an approachable person that people easily choose to go to. I like to go to parties and be around a bunch of people even if I never see them more than once. I would rather be with many people than just one or two. However, when it comes down to it, I need my space. If I go more than two days without a moment of peace and loneliness, I go completely neurotic. If you have ever seen the frustration of a dog trying to lick peanut butter off his nose than you already know what I look like when I have been around people too long. I work as a hostess at Applebee’s and although I love both the environment and the people, someday I just need a break from having to make conversation. I believe everyone gets this way at times. If ever there is a time where I feel I have talked and listened to the point that I wasn’t even able to hear myself think, than I know I needed to stop. Some days it’s worse than others, but overall, I truly love people and my precious alone time. So I am not a member of any ethnic or national culture but I conform to many groups that add to my life. My family will forever be the biggest aspect

Unlike most, I do not wear high-waisted shorts and combat boots with every outfit. Some people can pull off the vintage look but I have yet to find a flattering piece that truly worked for me. So in general, I would assume “hipster” as a term of endearment if so bestowed upon me. Extroverted introvert seems like a completely oxymoron, but in reality, there are many people who would fall under such a category. In my case, I think I am a normal, socially active person. I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone and I have had many people tell me I am an approachable person that people easily choose to go to. I like to go to parties and be around a bunch of people even if I never see them more than once. I would rather be with many people than just one or two. However, when it comes down to it, I need my space. If I go more than two days without a moment of peace and loneliness, I go completely neurotic. If you have ever seen the frustration of a dog trying to lick peanut butter off his nose than you already know what I look like when I have been around people too long. I work as a hostess at Applebee’s and although I love both the environment and the people, someday I just need a break from having to make conversation. I believe everyone gets this way at times. If ever there is a time where I feel I have talked and listened to the point that I wasn’t even able to hear myself think, than I know I needed to stop. Some days it’s worse than others, but overall, I truly love people and my precious alone time. So I am not a member of any ethnic or national culture but I conform to many groups that add to my life. My family will forever be the biggest aspect in my life and will be the culture I’d always go running back to. It’s difficult to neatly organize my life, thoughts, and perceptions without skipping aspects. Biographies can’t be written with all certainty until the death of the subject; so is it difficult to discuss everything of my life when I don’t know three quarters of it. I live a mild-mannered life, from my

Biographies can’t be written with all certainty until the death of the subject; so is it difficult to discuss everything of my life when I don’t know three quarters of it. I live a mild-mannered life, from my view point. It may not be adventurous or dramatized, but it is a full life, like any other. In the words of Karl Marx, “There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all life is too short to be anything but happy.” I don’t think there is any possible way of putting it any better.

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